Chosen by Sin Page 26

  He was about to sit on the bed when he saw traces of blood smearing his clothes. It wasn’t a lot. She hadn’t been bleeding enough for her blood to soak through. But it was enough. Too much. He stripped off his shirt, balled it up, and threw it across the room, his anger returning full force.

  How dare she allow herself to be hurt? How dare she lay there and let Amanda slice her open? It didn’t matter that the wounds couldn’t hurt the baby. That the cuts had only been on her arm, the one unmarred by scars. The cuts had been deep, some almost to the bone…

  He agonized over her injuries for several minutes.

  When she finally opened the door, steam billowed out of the bathroom. She stepped out wearing a shell pink robe.

  Lying on the bed, his hands tucked behind his head, Dex refused to look at her.

  She padded over and sat beside him.

  Neither one of them spoke until . . .

  “My wounds have already healed, Dex,” she said gently. “Unlike the ones I sustained as a child, these wounds won’t even leave scars. See for yourself.”

  “I don’t want to see,” he snapped as his gaze honed in on hers. “I can’t forget the sight of Amanda cutting you while you laid there and let her do it!”

  “I know it looks bad, that it’s hard to understand, but we needed to try it. Our bodies have healing properties. We never thought to take our blood as we were regenerating. If I can harness that power to help others—”

  He pushed himself to a sitting position and took her by the shoulders. Although he wanted to shake some sense into her, he kept his touch gentle. “Damn it, you have to stop! Your life isn’t all about helping others live longer. You have your own life to live, too, and you need to do it!”

  “I have an eternity for that, Dex.”

  “And just when will your eternity start, Jes? You’re already almost one hundred years old and believe it or not, you can be killed. Knox’s first wife was a full vampire and she was murdered; when he found her, she had a gaping hole in her chest, one that all the experiments in the world couldn’t heal. Even now, with our baby inside you, you can’t let yourself be happy. Why?”

  “That’s not true. This baby means so much to me. I have him. And now I have…” She looked away. Despite their talk of a future, he realized, she didn’t feel she could say it out loud. But he did.

  “You have me. Me, Jes. You said you love me. Well, you know what? I love you, too. I want to know I can fulfill you. Not every part of you, but a part big enough and deep enough that you can let go of your damn guilt and be happy!”

  “What?” she asked, the question simple and designed to deceive. She’d probably wanted to say: “I don’t feel guilty.” But she didn’t, because she couldn’t, because that would have been a lie.

  “You feel guilty that you survived and your parents didn’t. You feel guilty because you’re immortal and the Draci aren’t. Hell, you probably even feel guilty that you got pregnant, despite the fact you didn’t think you could and we used condoms. Goddess knows that if that’s true, then I contributed to your guilt. For that I’ll always be sorry. But I don’t blame you anymore, Jes. And you have to stop blaming yourself. For all of it.”

  She pulled away from him, walked across the room, and turned her back on him. But he didn’t give up. He came up to her. Close enough that she’d feel him even though they weren’t actually touching. “Why are you the only immortal here?”

  She whirled around. “Excuse me?”

  “Why haven’t you brought in other vampires to help you? Surely there are some who’d be willing to do what you do. Some that are medically trained, in fact. Why do you do things all on your own?”

  “This village is virtually unheard of. We want to keep it that way. It’s how we’re able to maintain some level of peace. Besides, I don’t know any vampires. Not anymore.”

  “It wouldn’t be too hard to find them. I can talk to my friend Knox. He has connections.”

  “No,” she said coolly.

  “No?” he repeated. “Just like that?”

  “That’s right. I don’t want vampires—I mean, I’m fine with things the way they are.”

  “I bet you are. It puts you in a pretty important position, don’t you think? Everyone around you either ill or dying. Almost like you’re some kind of Goddess. That would change if all of a sudden you brought in another immortal.”

  “All that would change is that the Draci will have exposed their weaknesses to more people, more people who can turn against them, more people they can’t trust. Or are you telling me that you trust others? Even this Knox you’re talking about?”

  “There are not many I trust,” he conceded. “But I have good reason for that. What’s your reason? Just who staked you and your parents out to die?” He reached over and lightly caressed her scars. This time she managed not to flinch. “Was it vampires? Is that why you don’t want to bring your own kind here?”

  “No. Ce n'était pas des vampires. It was werewolves.”

  “What?” It was the last thing he’d been expecting her to say.

  “That’s right. It’s ironic, don’t you think? A were killed my parents. My mother and my father. But a were also saved me, and then another gave me a baby. Maybe it’s some kind of cosmic fair play.”

  “If werewolves killed your parents, why would Bodin have intervened? They must have been acting under his orders.”

  “They were. At least, initially. They were searching for a vampire among my villagers, but they couldn’t find him. They didn’t believe us when we said we didn’t know where he was. Or even who he was. Bodin told them to find the vampire so he could talk to him, but he never authorized violence. Bodin’s men went crazy. They overpowered several of us. We weren’t used to fighting. We were a peaceful clan. They took us and staked us, not realizing I was too young to have vampire powers or vampire weaknesses, either. And then Bodin arrived and he saved me. Then he punished his men. Each and every one of them. So it’s not vampires I hate. I don’t hate anyone, Dex. Not even weres. I hate the ones who did what they did. But I don’t hate the whole race.”

  “Then you’re better than me. Better than most people. I don’t think I could be that evolved. In fact, I know I can’t. Did Bodin ever find the vampire he was looking for?”

  ***

  At Dex’s question, Jes said, “I don’t—” but her claim of ignorance stopped mid sentence.

  Because something had suddenly occurred to her. Something alarming.

  It was so obvious, but she, who prided herself on gathering information and wielding her scientific mind like a finely honed scalpel, hadn’t even thought of it.

  The day Bodin had saved her, his weres had been searching for a vampire. That had also been around the same time Bodin had sent Dex away. Could it be that Bodin had been looking for Dex’s vampire father? And if so, why? To talk to him? Or to kill him?

  A shiver of doubt swept through her. Was it possible that Dex was right about his grandfather after all?

  “Jes, if you don’t hate any particular race, why won’t you bring other immortals here?”

  Her answer was an easy one given what she’d just been thinking. “Because while I don’t hate,” she answered slowly. “I also don’t trust. Like you, I’ve lived long enough to know that everyone is motivated by their own selfishness, and that includes me. You asked if I want to be a goddess? Yes. I do. I wish I had the power to create and manage life. Because I think I’d do a much fairer job than those currently in power.”

  He obviously had no response for that. How could he? Life was filled with unfairness. Dex had to know that better than most.

  It was just too bad creationism, and if it existed, individual cosmic power, weren’t ruled by democratic vote. Or maybe, given what a bad job the world’s current democracies were doing, it wouldn’t even matter.

  “I’m sorry, Jes,” Dex said. “I know you’re doing what you think is right. But you can’t continue to hurt yourself in a desperate attempt
to alter nature.”

  She smiled. Appreciated that even now he was trying to protect her. Convince her that what she was doing was wrong. But she didn’t believe him. She probably never would. “Dex, the night I met you, you were with your Para-Ops team. How long have you been together?”

  “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Please. Just answer my question.”

  He did, albeit impatiently. “A few months.”

  “I saw for myself how well you work together. Do you consider the Para-Ops team your family?”

  “No.”

  She smiled sadly at his swift response. “Let me guess. You think of them as better than your family, don’t you? So let me ask you this, and answer honestly, please. Would you die to protect one of them?”

  He didn’t want to answer. He didn’t. Not for several tense, prolonged seconds. Then, with great reluctance, he admitted, “Yes.”

  She nodded at the confirmation of what she’d already known. “Then why can’t you understand that I’d do the same for the Draci? Because they are my family. If I can help them, even if it means suffering a little pain, then so be it. I’m an adult. I can make that decision. And I’m sorry, but I won’t stop trying. Ever.”

  CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

  A few hours later, Jes finally fell asleep. She was obviously exhausted, the trials of the past few weeks as well as her pregnancy causing her internal clock to shift. It was another hour before Dex accepted he wasn’t going to rest as easily. Silently, he left her room and walked into the garden, heading for the iron gazebo where they’d had their first meal together. He was almost to the structure when shadows moved.

  Cy said, “So you’re still here, huh? I thought if anything would make you run, it would be that.”

  Dex stepped closer and saw the dragon-shifter. He was in his favorite sitting position, sprawled out and limbs splayed, swigging back something clear from a bottle.

  “I’m not running,” Dex confirmed, bracing himself against the gazebo’s opening. “Today only proved how much Jes needs me here.”

  Cy nodded and pointed the neck of the bottle at him. “Because I can’t take care of her the way you think you can?”

  The dragon-shifter was clearly inebriated. Slurring his words. His manner more aggressive than usual. Dex sighed. “You’re too close to the subject, Cy. Too willing to give her what she thinks she needs.”

  “You think I let her hurt herself because it might end up saving me?” He shook his head. “No. I let her do what she needs to in order to have any semblance of happiness.”

  “Maybe she needed her quest in order to be happy at some point, but not anymore. She has me and the baby now.”

  Cy laughed. “Oh wow. That’s a good one. So when I wasn’t looking, you decided to pledge your love and devotion to her after all?”

  Dex straightened. “That’s right. I know you aren’t happy with that, but if you want to continue being part of Jes’s life, you have to accept it.”

  “You mean: if I want to be part of her life for the next fourteen years of the life that I have left, right? And even then, only if I’m lucky.”

  For the first time since Dex had met Cy, the guy looked morose. Completely without hope. If Dex hadn’t been so messed up himself, unsure of how to handle Jes and her obsession with prolonging life, he might have even felt sorry for the other male. “I didn’t say that, Cy.”

  “You didn’t have to.” Cy shot to his feet, weaving slightly before catching himself. “Damn it, it’s not fucking fair. She just met you but you’re going to get everything. Her. The baby. Hundreds of years with them.”

  When he put it like that, it did sound pretty damn unfair. Exactly the reason Jes wanted to prolong the Draci lifespan in the first place. But everyone had their baggage. He understood wanting to change things for the better, but how far did that extend? Far enough that someone like Jes gave up her own chance for happiness in order to give it to others? He wasn’t going to let that happen, and he sure as shit wasn’t giving up his chance for happiness with her. “You said you were happy, Cy. If that’s true, you’ve had fourteen years of the happiness I’ve just discovered is possible.”

  Cy threw the bottle against the side of the gazebo, shattering it into a hundred pieces. “This isn’t as easy as buying a fucking ice cream cone,” Cy snarled.

  “I know that.”

  “No,” Cy said. “You don’t.” The dragon-shifter stumbled toward him while Dex held his ground.

  The closer Cy got, the more sure Dex became that the one bottle had simply been the first of many. Cy reached out and thumped Dex on the chest with the flat of his palm. “You don’t know anything, Dex Hunt. You certainly don’t know Jes.” He slapped Dex in the chest again. “Not what drives her. Not if you actually believe that you and the baby will make her so happy that she’ll stop being obsessed with her research.”

  This time, when Cy moved to slap him, Dex shoved back. Hard. Cy toppled backward, landing on his ass. To keep him down, Dex pushed his foot against Cy’s chest. “Whatever I don’t know about her, I’ll learn. I know it won’t be easy and I’m not expecting a miracle overnight. But we’re going to have the time to figure it out together.”

  Cy struggled beneath Dex’s foot before surrendering. With that, Dex released him and stepped back. Cy immediately clambered his way to his feet.

  “Only until you leave her,” Cy spat. “Remember, I told you that. I know you’ll leave her.”

  “I’m not leaving her.”

  “You’re wrong. What if she continues to experiment on herself? What if it goes beyond cutting and she wants to explore regeneration by having someone cut off one of her limbs? You going to stay with her then?”

  “I’d never let that happen. I’ll protect her, and I’ll help her find other ways to get what she needs. If what she needs is to find a way to lengthen life, then fine, I’ll do everything I can to help her. But she’ll damn well learn to balance things and look out for herself, too.”

  “What if she asks you to do something?”

  “What? She can have anything she needs from me. Hell, she can have my blood before I’ll let her shed any more of her own.”

  “Too late for that,” Cy taunted.

  “What are you—”

  “You have no idea what Jes would demand of you. What if she wanted your loyalty?

  “She has it.”

  “What if she wants you to pledge your loyalty to someone else? Someone you hate? What if she wanted you to save someone you hated?”

  “Stop fucking around, Cy. If you have something to say, then just say it.”

  “Fine. Bodin of Hammersham.”

  “Nice try. But I already know he’s the one who brought Jes here.”

  Cy’s eyes rounded with shock but Dex felt no pity for him.

  “She told you that, huh? Well, did she tell you he’s here? Because he is. He’s been here the entire time.”

  ***

  Something woke Jes and she automatically reached for Dex. She frowned when she found the space beside her empty. Where had he gone? And was he still angry with her?

  She closed her eyes, wishing things between them weren’t so complicated. Hating the fear and uncertainty she’d seen in his eyes when he’d discovered what she and Amanda had been doing. But Dex had hated his grandfather his whole life. Had probably plotted to kill him for most of that time. He didn’t understand the urgency she and Amanda had felt as they’d stared down at Bodin and—

  She abruptly sat up.

  Bodin. She’d intended to check in on him immediately after she and Amanda had concluded with their research, but once Dex had arrived, she’d forgotten. Then she’d fallen asleep.

  She leaped out of bed, and finding herself still in her robe, didn’t even bother to dress. She grabbed her keys, the ones that would enable her to get to Bodin, and rushed out of her room.

  When she arrived, Bodin was either still unconscious or asleep, but he’d kicked all his co
vers off. Occasionally, he muttered to himself and writhed restlessly on the bed, as if he had something important to do. Something urgent. Only someone or something was keeping him from it.

  She picked up the covers and tucked them carefully around him.

  “Camille, my darling girl. Dex—” he whispered.

  It wasn’t the first time he’d called to them in his sleep.

  “Shhh,” Jes soothed and placed her hand on his forehead. Despite all the antibiotics they’d been giving him, he was burning up. It wasn’t the heat of infection, but the heat of his ancestors calling him home after a long life lived. No matter how they’d fought it, she knew it was Bodin’s time.

  Grief overrode her feelings of failure.

  The worst thing about seeing him approach his end was that he was doing so with regrets. He was clearly haunted by the things he’d done in his past. And she knew most of his demons came from guilt over Dex.

  She raised his weathered hands to her lips and kissed them.

  She didn’t completely discount what Dex had claimed. That Bodin had merely seen her as a pawn to use with the Draci. She also still harbored questions about whether the vampire Bodin’s men had been searching for on the day he’d rescued her had been Dex’s father. But she had only to be near Bodin to feel the goodness in him. That, at least, was true. If Dex saw his grandfather, would it help him see that goodness, too?

  She hadn’t told Dex that Bodin was here because she’d feared what he would do. But now there was nothing Dex could do that nature hadn’t already taken care of. He deserved to see Bodin before his grandfather passed. “I’ll bring him to you,” Jes whispered “I’ll bring Dex.”

  “No need. I’m already here.”

  She jumped and whirled.

  Dex. His hate-filled gaze was latched onto Bodin. And when he turned his gaze on her, that hatred didn’t diminish.

  “I didn’t believe Cy. Not until I saw him with my own eyes. How long has he been here?”

  Dex hadn’t bothered talking quietly, yet Bodin seemed unaware of their presence. That told her he wasn’t asleep but still unconscious. “He’s been here several months,” she said. “He knew his time was coming and—and he sought my help.”