Chosen by Sin Page 22

  He wrapped his fingers gently around her wrist, holding her hand against him when she would have pulled away. “Because you couldn’t even ask me to stay with you for three weeks to save the baby once you knew it wasn’t what I wanted. And you arranged for Cy to take me to the village even when you knew it might weaken you. You think of what you need and what those you love need, Jes, but you always temper that by considering what you’re asking of others. I just lost sight of that for a while. I’m sorry.” He cupped her chin with his other hand and tilted her face up. “I’m so sorry.”

  She frowned, obviously struggling to accept what he was saying. When she finally nodded, he drew her into his arms. He rested his cheek on the top of her head and breathed in deeply.

  He rocked her for several minutes, until she closed her eyes and seemed to fall asleep. But he knew she hadn’t and something was still bothering him. Something triggered by the similarity between Ella’s graft wounds and the scars on Jes’s arm. “Can I ask you something?” he asked.

  Her eyes fluttered open and she leaned back. “Of course.”

  He lifted her arm, pushed back her sleeve, and lightly brushed his fingertips against the thick-ridged scars crisscrossing her skin. Again, she tried to pull away. Again, he wouldn’t let her. “What happened?”

  ***

  Jes winced at Dex’s question. “I know it’s ugly.” She also knew she couldn’t tell him the truth. Lord, given the way he’d reacted to Ella’s wounds—

  “No,” he said. “It’s not ugly. Nothing about you could ever be ugly.”

  Her chest felt too tight. She wished that were true, but Dex had seen the ugliness inside her. He’d made a mistake by believing she’d performed skin grafts on Ella, but that didn’t mean he was completely wrong about her. She was willing to do bad things for her cause.

  She’d lied to him. She’d taken his blood without asking.

  In some way, her scars were the outward manifestation of the ugliness inside her.

  He continued to caress her scars and eventually, amazingly, she stopped fighting him altogether. The air seemed to thicken and wrap around them, making her mind feel fuzzy and her blood roll through her veins like honey oozing through a straw. Her heart pulsed and, between her thighs, desire throbbed in an echoing beat.

  “How did you come to be with the Draci?” he asked softly, either forgetting his earlier question or deciding not to push her. His fingers trailed up her arm and across her shoulder until he cupped the side of her head. His thumb stroked her cheek. His touch felt so good that she didn’t stiffen at his probing, personal question. “I mean, I know they adopted you, but did your family know them? Is that why you were sent here?”

  She nuzzled his hand before his questions registered. When they did, she gasped and pulled away. She immediately mourned the loss of his touch, but they were walking on treacherous ground. She didn’t want to lie to him, not any more than she already had, but she couldn’t just blurt out that his grandfather had been the one to save her and bring her to the Draci.

  She tried to give him an answer that, while not completely truthful, wasn’t a lie either. “You know it’s very dangerous for Draci women to have kids.”

  Dex nodded and reached out to touch her again, rubbing her arm in small circles. Then he bent down and lightly kissed her throat.

  The affectionate gesture, committed so casually, startled her. Something about him seemed different. Now that he no longer believed she’d hurt Ella, he was acting as if he liked her. Maybe even—She trembled and tried to keep her mind clear.

  “After I lost my parents, I—I was brought here because the Draci queen wanted a child but the king didn’t want to risk her life. My benefactor knew that giving me to her would finalize a peace treaty that had just been instituted between his race and hers. So I became her daughter. And she loved me like her own. I loved her and we were happy for ten years until she died. Then I was sent to live with a new family, and then a new one, each one welcoming me as their own. I’ve never lacked for love.”

  “Why do you sound surprised? Of course they loved you. Who wouldn’t?”

  She suddenly couldn’t breathe. He looked as shell-shocked as she felt. As if he’d just realized what he’d implied—that even he couldn’t resist loving her either. But despite having almost thought it herself, that Dex could love her was crazy. Wishful thinking resulting from the gentle way he was touching her. Still, she was so shaken by the idea of Dex loving her, too intent on denying the possibility, that she spoke without her normal caution.

  “Part of them loved me because I served a need for them. Do you really think I’m the first to try to find the secret of prolonging life?”

  With horror, she realized what she’d said almost immediately.

  Dex didn’t miss a thing. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he growled.

  She shook her head and backed several steps away. “I shouldn’t have said anything. It doesn’t matter—”

  For every backward step she took, he moved forward, tracking her with a predator’s glint in his eye. “The hell it doesn’t. Are you saying the Draci used you while trying to find a way to prolong life? Did they experiment on you? Is that what your scars are from?”

  Fool, she berated herself. But it was too late to shake him off the scent. Instead, she said, “The clan’s seer, an old Draci named Rita, she was certain I was the key to prolonging Draci life. She convinced the others to do tests. But I wasn’t forced. They gave me the option, too.”

  Dex paled, as if she’d told him something too horrible to imagine. But it hadn’t been like that.

  “How old were you?”

  “I was eight.”

  “And not a Draci eight, but a vampire eight, which means you were considered a child. Too young to make that kind of choice.”

  She smiled sadly. “I was eight, but I was quite mature. Probably more mature than even Ella. C'est bien, Dex. I just meant I served an important role for the Draci, but it doesn’t mean they loved me any less. In some ways, I think they loved me even more because they envied what I had. The long life they’d never have. They cherished me.”

  His gaze flickered to her arm. “Jesus, they cut you. Repeatedly. And you let them?”

  She sighed. “They did what they thought was needed and what I agreed to. It hurt but I was always glad to give what I could for them. I still am. The Draci are my family. I love them and I will always fight to help them. Please, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. It’s part of who I am, but it’s not my present. Not my future.”

  He didn’t look ready to let the matter drop but he seemed to calm. “And I called you selfish? Damn, you’re so selfless it scares me. But despite what an ass I’ve been, despite thinking the worst about you concerning Ella, I want you to know this, Jes. I know you’re going to make a wonderful mother to our baby.”

  He lowered his hand and cupped her belly. There was no mistaking it now; her belly had thickened with her pregnancy. Given the way his brows lifted, she could tell he’d noticed the change.

  “The baby’s growing much faster than normal.” She covered his hand with hers and, despite everything, let herself feel hope again. “You’re not angry about the baby anymore?”

  “I’m in awe of the baby’s mother. How can I be angry? I’m going to stay with you, Jes. I—I want to be part of the baby’s life. And your life, too. I don’t know what that’ll look like, but I’d like to explore it with you. If you want the same thing. Do you?”

  She could hardly believe what he was saying. At first she thought this must be some kind of trick. But as she looked at him she saw his sincerity, as well as the hint of fear that edged it. Fear that she would reject him.

  How could he think she’d reject him? He’d given her everything. He’d given her even more by wanting to share it with her. She pulled him into her embrace.

  Whispered, “Yes.”

  And kissed him.

  ***

  There was something sacred about
the way Dex returned Jes’s kiss. Nothing about it resembled the way he’d kissed his other lovers. It was also nothing like the way he’d previously kissed her. He noticed the difference immediately. He was more tentative, less focused on the clamoring demands of his body and more concerned with the foreign emotions that were swirling through him. And what was more astonishing was that he wasn’t even bothering to deny or fend off those emotions.

  Not anymore.

  He loved her, he finally admitted to himself.

  In the private recesses of his mind, he could say it. He loved this female.

  That’s why this kiss was so different. He’d never kissed a female he was in love with before. Never been so scared.

  What terrified him most wasn’t what he was feeling, but that Jes would guess. She already influenced him, more than he’d ever thought possible. He could imagine the power she’d wield if she actually knew how much he wanted to be inside her, but also how much he longed for her to be inside him. Her fangs, her body, her heart. He wanted to absorb all there was of her so he could keep her safe and carry her with him always. For an eternity.

  With a sigh, she wrapped her arms around his neck. He reveled in her embrace and locked his hands together at the small of her back. Her breasts pushed against the hard planes of his chest, her nipples drilling into him, prodding him into action.

  He swept her up in arms, breaking their kiss despite the way her mouth chased his. “I want a bed this time. Your bed. Where is it?”

  “On the top floor.”

  She directed him to her room, apparently not caring that someone might see them. When he reached her bedroom door and walked through it, he was eerily reminded of how a groom traditionally carried his bride over the threshold. The gesture gained even more significance given he’d never actually been in a woman’s bedroom before. All the others—including Lucy and even Jes in L.A—he’d always fucked in hotels rooms. It felt strange being granted access to Jes’s intimate space but only after he’d been given the same access to her body. Strange but good.

  The shadowed room was decorated in cream and rose and sage. It was more feminine than he’d expected it to be, with romantic iron candelabras bolted to the stone wall, the burned-down candles telling him she liked the ambience they provided. Wall-to-wall bookshelves were filled with the same kinds of bound books he’d seen in the library. Another chaise had been strategically placed in front of a large fireplace, but he ignored it for the bed.

  It was a queen, smaller than he would have liked. Plush pillows were propped against the iron scroll headboard, virtually covering the top half. Holding her to him with one arm, he shoved at the pillows, sending them tumbling off the other side of the bed. Only when the linens were clear did he lower her to the mattress.

  She gazed at him with a serious expression, her brow furrowed.

  “What is it?” he asked, praying she hadn’t changed her mind about wanting him. Now, here in her bed, or later, in her life.

  “I—” She shook her head. “Nothing. It’s just… You were so angry with me. And now you’re being so gentle.”

  “Yeah,” he sighed as he smoothed her hair away from her face. “I’m a bundle of contradictions. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. I’m just—I’m just glad I’m here.”

  “Me, too, Dex. Me, too.”

  She opened her arms wide, beckoning him to her, and with a groan he lowered himself until his body covered hers. Pressed against her, he couldn’t help noticing once again that she’d gained weight in her middle. Earlier in the lab, when he’d flattened his palm against her and felt the outward manifestation of her pregnancy, an electric current had zipped up his arm, connecting the three of them—him, Jes, and their baby. For the first time, he’d felt the evidence of his child within her, and along with it, an inescapable awareness of its growing vitality.

  The irrefutable evidence of the baby’s existence had shocked him enough to eradicate all hesitation and doubt. He’d flirted with the idea of giving up his quest for revenge for Jes and the baby, but as he’d cradled the life in Jes’s belly, he’d committed himself to it. He’d never felt more sure about anything and that had given him the strength to voice what he wanted. He’d allowed himself to be vulnerable because the chance of getting what he wanted—in this case, Jes and the baby—had seemed well worth the risk of rejection.

  Electricity once again coursed through his body and he wondered if she felt the same thing, for she trembled, as well. She hugged his hips with her thighs and lifted her hands to frame his face. Her gaze wandered over him, as if she was searching for an answer to some unknown question. When she smiled, he breathed a sigh of relief, overcome with the knowledge that whatever she’d been looking for, she’d found.

  “S'il te plait. Kiss me,” she urged.

  She didn’t have to ask twice. He pressed his mouth against hers and his control slipped. His dick throbbed, urging him to celebrate their newfound connection in the most primal way possible. But he was suddenly afraid of making the wrong move. Of breaking the fragile almost holy bond that had seemed to form between them.

  Uncertain in bed for the first time in his life, he broke away from her and rolled until she was on top of him, her eyes rounded, her fingers digging into his shoulders. He planted his feet on the mattress and raised his knees, then gently pressed on her shoulders until she leaned back. He’d never let a lover top him before, so this would be another first, and his anticipation was enough to make him dizzy.

  She recovered fast. With a saucy smile, she moved her hips, rubbing her bottom against his painfully aching shaft until he wanted to howl in frustration. But he had invited this. Needed it. And now he’d let her play all she wanted to.

  As she undressed him, her hands shook with need. She kissed every patch of skin she revealed, pausing a particularly long time to suck at his flat brown nipples. He buried his hands in her hair and held her head close. Then, without even knowing he was doing it, he pushed her head downward, directing her to his dick. As he peered down at her, he could see she was smiling and that her hands were steadier as she unsnapped and unzipped his pants.

  She licked her lips as if her mouth was watering for him. She tugged him out of his pants and enveloped the tip of his dick in her mouth. He groaned and fell back as she sucked hungrily. As if she couldn’t get enough of him. Her hands joined her lips, firmly clasping the base of his shaft even as her mouth took him deeper. She kept going until her lips met her own fingers and then she slowly pulled back. She did it again and again, sucking harder, moving faster until the sounds of her sucking combined with the tight clasp of her mouth and shoved him over the edge.

  Greedily, without hesitation, she swallowed his seed. When she finally raised her head and licked her lips, he cupped her beneath her arms and dragged her up his body. Not bothering with the rest of her clothes, he shoved down her pants and underwear, and plunged two fingers inside her. She screamed with pleasure as her muscles clenched and fluttered around him. He withdrew his fingers, stirring them around her cleft, then parted her flesh and positioned her over him.

  As a were, he had greater sexual stamina than most, but even he was amazed at how hard he still was. He ached for her. He couldn’t imagine a time when he wouldn’t.

  “Take me,” Dex growled. “Take all—” She impaled herself on him, taking every rock-hard inch. Before he could catch his breath, she lifted herself up then slammed down on him again. She flew into motion, riding him for all she was worth.

  “Oh Goddess,” Dex gasped, grasping her hips but determinedly not guiding her. It was exactly what she was in his mind. A goddess. He wanted all of her. He wanted to know that every move she made was hers alone, spurred on by her sheer desire for him.

  Her hands lifted to cup her own breasts and she tweaked her nipples, harder than he would have expected. She mewled and flung her head back. “Dex, it feels so good. Soooo….goooood.”

  “Oh yeah,” he growled as she began shaking with her releas
e. She ground against him, keeping him lodged deep as he reared up to kiss her. He swallowed her moans as she came. When she collapsed on top of him, he rolled until she was once more beneath him.

  His dick, as heavy as a metal pipe, couldn’t hold still. It slid out of her and then back inside again, the movements as smooth as pistons. He butted against a special spot inside her that made her gasp, and in seconds she once again hovered on the edge of orgasm.

  “Yes. Come again, Jes. Come with me.” His gaze held hers so she couldn’t look away. As her hips rolled, searching for the pleasure that only he could give her, he slipped his hand between them and pressed against her clit. She went bow-tight, then exploded.

  “Yes,” she sobbed. “Dex, Jes t’aime. I love you so much.”

  He jerked and squeezed his eyes shut as her words set off his release.

  Jes, he thought. His body shook and shuddered. She was the only female to ever take his seed inside her body, and that knowledge kept him pouring into her, one stream of come following the other until he was sure she’d suck him dry. She was pinned beneath him, his cock shoved up inside her, his heavy weight making it impossible for her to escape even if she’d wanted to, but he was the one who felt helpless. Powerless.

  And at the same time, he felt more powerful than he ever had.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Jes struggled to breathe in enough air. She was on the verge of tears, overwhelmed not only by the pleasure Dex had drawn from her, but also by the emotions. For some reason, when she was in his arms, she was able to forget her research and her experiments. Forget he was a legend who could gift another with immortality. Her heart and soul didn’t think of Dex that way. She saw him only as an honorable male who could be a wonderful father and partner if he’d only let go of the horrors of his past.

  She knew it wasn’t an easy task. Her own past had driven her too far for far too long. But perhaps they could help each other with that. He’d confessed that’s what he wanted. That he wanted to make a life with her and the baby. He’d trusted her, and now she had to trust him.